VOL. 1, NO. 1
Transcience Corporation U.S.A.
WEATHER: SUNNY & VERY MILD
INSTANT LIFE CREATED
IN LABORATORY!
Suspended Animation A Reality!
SEA-MONKEYS—A NEW FORM OF LIFE, FOUND IN CRYSTALS!
By Ben Harvey
Special to the Daily World-Sun
NEW YORK, N.Y., March 31—The historic creation of a totally new kind of life from test-tube was demonstrated here before 4,500 scientists attending the 37th Conference of the Biological Research Society. Strange, living, simian-tailed animals named Sea-Monkeys, were produced from crystals immersed in water for less than a minute by Dr. George Flam, whose amazing discovery stunned delegates at the annual meeting.
NOBEL PRIZE IN HIS FUTURE?
“As you all have just seen,” said Dr. Flam, the tall, youthful looking biochemist from Tennessee, “by combining my crystals with water, anyone, even a child, can instantly create live Sea-Monkeys, and raise them to maturity.” He went on to describe the ten years of re-search that finally resulted in the perfection of his formula.
Sea-Monkeys Acclaimed by Sec'y. of W.H.E.E.
By Jackie Flosso
Special to the Daily World-Sun
WASHINGTON, D.C., April 1-In a surprise announcement from the Green Room, Peyton Wilmot, Secretary of Wealth, Happiness and Education (WHEE), stated, “Sea-Monkeys are safe and recommended as pets by the newly formed Commission. In fact,” he said, “confidentially, even the President’s are doing just fine. They need so little care or space they will make ideal pets. From now on, all men, women, children, shut-ins, military personnel and animal lovers can enjoy, as does the President, the antics of these frolicking, adorable ‘water clowns. As a Nation, we hoped for something to come along and replace TV to get our minds off our troubles. And it seems like Providence has answered our call again.” To which this reporter can only add, “Amen.”